3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
