Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
