: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
They took my balls.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
