I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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