i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
