did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
