I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
