I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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