he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I have aggressive nipples.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
