so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
