do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
