He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
