i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
