And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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