No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
