Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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