she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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