Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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