Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
