Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
