You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
She bit a glass in half.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
