Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
