i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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