he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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