4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
