dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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