Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
