Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
