she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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