She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
