you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
