I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
