So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
