I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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