Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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