I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
you had me at cake vodka
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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