Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
