So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
