they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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