No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Pooping to opera.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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