We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
