Swine flu. Run for my life!
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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