I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
