just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
