So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize