Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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