is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
