Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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