This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
