so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
