bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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