to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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