Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
