ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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