The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize