mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
They are going to name an STD after you.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
