Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
