As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
