I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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