i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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