So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
