She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
