I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize