He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
