TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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